When you homeschool, it’s hard to turn off “school” thinking. Everything becomes a learning experience. You become much more aware of the things your kids notice, the bad habits they pick up, and the positive things you would like them to emulate. One thing I know we do a good job of as parents is modeling what a healthy marriage looks like.
Jason and I have been married for 11 years, and I think we make a pretty amazing couple. We are a great team, best friends, and are super compatible. One of the most important things is we value our relationship and work hard at it. We are always considerate of the others time and feelings. I believe we set a good example of what a good wife and good husband looks like. When you have kids, you of course want the person they are dating to treat them well, and my husband does an excellent job of showing how a man should treat a woman.
My husband and I were high sweethearts and got married when we were 21 and 22. One of my big concerns about us getting married when we were so young and knowing each other since we were teenagers is the pressure it may put on the girls. I can just hear it now, “You don’t understand! You haven’t dated anyone besides Father!” (I have no idea why I chose the noun Father.) I worry they won’t come to us about relationship advice in fear that we won’t be able to relate. I suppose every generation feels like their parents don’t understand, especially when it comes to dating.
Although I can’t be a huge help during their first heartbreak, I can offer insight into what to look for in a partner. Someone with common interests but not too similar. You need enough differences to make life interesting. Jason and I are a perfect example. We like the same music, (most) of the same tv and movies, the same things make us laugh, similar spiritual values. In short, we are compatible but over the years we have introduced the other to different things.
I introduced him to sports. He showed me an appreciation for the outdoors. He used to hate dogs. I used to hate cats. Now we have 2 of each. Of course it isn’t all Pollyanna all the time. We have some differences. I hate video games. He detests some of the tv I watch. I prefer tv as background noise. He prefers music. I’m a night owl, and he is morning person. An annoyingly chipper morning person I might add 😉 Anyway, the point being, we compliment each other well. What one of us lacks, the other makes up for. We are like the Daryl Dixon and Pam of real life. Jesus, I really am a dork. Another thing we have in common!
What initially inspired this post was a clip from the tv show Roseanne. Specifically from David and Darlene’s wedding.
This really spoke to me. David and Darlene knowing they could get through whatever came their way, because they had seen their parents pull through. We have had some hardships, but we always have had each other to rely on for trust and support. We do our best to provide a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like. We want them to grow up and have a stable, loving, trusting, committed relationship whenever they are ready.
I am glad we can model a strong marriage/relationship for our kids so they know what to look for in a partner.
What are your healthy relationship habits? How do you model a healthy marriage?