Ok people Fofo here** Now you all may think my mom is a saint with her homeschooling and blogging and other “work” that she does. But let me tell you this woman is no saint. In fact, she is a bit of an asshole.
Today my mom was an asshole for not letting me pack my brand new, sparkly blue rain boots in my bag for my visit to Grandma’s house. I mean, we leave in a month. I don’t want to forget!
Today my mom was an asshole for telling me not to snare the cats in my homemade trap.
Today my mom was an asshole for not letting me wear my Hello Kitty skirt that is 4 sizes too small and makes me look like a “street-walker.” I don’t even walk on the street. We use the sidewalk.
Today my mom was an asshole because she didn’t make me any cookies or muffins. Just dumb old spicy bread.
Today my mom was an asshole because we didn’t go for a bike ride when I WANTED TO! Who cares if you were in the bathroom. I wanted to go!
Today my mom was an asshole for letting my sister kick me in the head. I punched her first on accident!!
Today my mom was an asshole because she wouldn’t make my lunch at 9:52. I was hungry! And how dare she offer me an apple or banana as a snack instead.
Today my mom was an asshole because my sister’s skirt was longer than mine! It’s not fair!!
Today my mom was an asshole for making me clean up all my toys after I told her I didn’t want any help. I was kidding. I thought my mom was smart.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom. She just gets in these moods where she doesn’t want to give me exactly what I need at the exact moment I need them. I don’t know about you, but I blame the moon. It happens about once a month.
**Disclaimer**Fofo did not write this (of course) but some days you have to laugh to keep from crying. And she doesn’t call me an asshole. Yet.