The Surly Housewife

10 Reasons I Need a Beer at the End of the Day

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Mommy needs a break. A break for laughs and a break for beers. Parenting requires a sense of humor. You have to laugh to keep from crying. Or in my case, a beer! Click here to learn my justifications for drinking ;)

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1. The number one reason, I need a beer is because it is delicious and it’s only in Wisconson. New Glarus baby!

2. I am living with a PMS’ing six-year-old. “PAPA ATE THE CRACKERS!! NO FAIR!! HE TAKES EVERYTHING FOR HIS LUNCH.”

3. Bear wore a striped shirt and plaid shorts today. Not a horrible offense, but it means she inherited my husband’s fashion sense, which is never good.

4. We still have like 3 fleas hanging around the house. Literal fleas. Not my kids. Or animals. Although they are the reason we have fleas.

5. I see this face. About 700 times a day from a demanding six year old.

Source: Flickr Erica Schoonmaker

6. Bear: I’m hungry.
Me: I will cut you up some carrots.
Bear: NOOOOOOO, I’m not hungry.
Me: Ok.
Bear: NOOOOO, I’m hungry.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

7. I have a blog post to write. Let’s face it, working is a lot easier with a couple of beers.

8. After making hard-boiled eggs, granola, stir-fry, and spicy bread (go me!), Harley informs me she would like burgers for supper. I say no, we need to finish the leftover soup. Scowl, “No. Burgers!” See number 5.

9. Sons of Anarchy is on tonight. I know a lot of people love it. I am so incredibly frustrated by this show that it makes me insane. “I already lost the woman I love.” NO MAN TALKS LIKE THAT!!!! And I’m sorry ladies, but men don’t do push-ups naked. Sorry Juice. Ya have a nice ass, if that makes you feel better. I want more Tig and Chibs and less Peg Bundy making out with Bobby Simone. In fact, no Peg Bundy at all would be dandy!! I am only watching because I have watched the whole series and want to see how the damn thing ends. Hopefully with the Hell’s Angels taking over Charming. Is my longest paragraph really on SOA?!

10. Did I mention I have a scowling, PMS’ing 6-year-old right now?!

Me: Is anything gonna make you happy right now?
Harley: Um. No. Nothing will make me happy right now.

Me: Why don’t you grab a book to read?
Harley: I use my phonics to read, not actual books!

Harley: IT’S GONNA BE LOCKED WHEN WE GET BACK IN!!
ME: Harley, your bike.
Harley: I FORGOT.

She forgot her bike for her bike ride. Need I say more.

Cheers everyone!

Mommy needs a break. A break for laughs and a break for beers. Parenting requires a sense of humor. You have to laugh to keep from crying. Or in my case, a beer! Click here to learn my justifications for drinking ;) | Funny mom truths | funny moms | funny mom blog posts | mommy needs a break posts |

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  5. LOL, this is amazing. That cat with your dialogue made me spit out my seltzer as I was reading. I get that look from my three year old! That continues to six huh? This was a great read, and you deserve those beers!
    Stopping by from the SHINE Blog Hop.

    Reply

  6. LOL… so I click on this post and my 6 1/2 year old comes into the room and reads out loud:

    “10 reasons I need a BEAR”

    I nearly feel over laughing and told her to leave the room for a minute and she’s like:

    “Why? I want to know why anyone would want a bear.”

    I love your reasons. They are all very good (especially the PMSing 6 year old… especially).

    I don’t like beer (or bear). I prefer wine (or whine)?

    Wishing you a lovely weekend… and cheers!

    Thanks for sharing and linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.
    xoxo

    Reply

    • Oh my goodness!! Too funny 🙂

      We sort of do have a bear. We have a 100 pound Newfoundland and people always ask us if he is a bear. Why they think I am walking a bear on a leash, I don’t know lol.

      We aren’t near the full mom so I had to blame PMS 😉 My husband and I are building a bunker in the garage for us to use in about 7 years lol.

      I like drinks of all kinds!! Ha. I’m pretty particular about my beer. I don’t like anything too bitter or too hoppy. I love wine also. I have found I have expensive taste in wine so I don’t get it too often.

      Thanks for reading 🙂

      Reply

  7. I’m thinking I could write something similar on a daily basis! You had me laughing out loud…I can so relate, especially to #6. My daughter consistently tells me she’s hungry and never wants anything I have to offer her…until it’s her idea!

    Reply

    • My kids are the exact same way!! I recently have been letting them make their own lunch. Well, now they want to make dinner. Sorry kids, toast for dinner isn’t gonna cut it! But heaven forbid I say that! Thanks for reading.

      Reply

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